A bit late

Sorry about this post being late, my apartment complex felt I really didn't need the internets so I had to run home to post this.
Comparison b/n Sappho Translation and my poem.
I read several versions of a Sappho translation and a couple things stuck out. There were versions such as Lord Byrons which were endlessly entrenched in imagery, version which tried to get form and rhyme spot on (very hard to see if they got it right, hard to see the meter in the Greek), and my favorite, the literal translation with no flourish at all. Between all the versions there was some recurring themes (mostly the ones asked for in the assignment). But the form, even some of the imagery was up for grabs.
So I chose in my poem to follow a repeating Renga format (variation on haiku), though I missed some important pieces (not too happy with the way it turned out, but then again I wasn't writing for myself necessarily and we are all constrained by the images and general format of the Sappho) I wriggled it into a form I could live with.
Imagery wise, the Sappho had more broad, tactile images whereas I chose a more spare storytelling use. Also in the Sappho the grass tends to be used to compare her skin color to, whereas I used it literally.
We both try to show a loss of control over the body by treating the parts as outside entities.
I chose a more tragic approach by showing the love to be moving apart.
Now about the translations; as i said earlier, with poetry you have to make priorities in translation. Whether you keep form the same, sacrificing imagery, possibly flow or you try and get the message correct, but lose some form. Also the problem arises when you try and figure out the original intent of the words used, in a live language like Greek you really cannot be sure of a words connotation at the time the poem was written, there may b subtleties you miss, even jokes you don't get. Also there arises the problem of the new language not having a word or not the specific word needed (Japanese has something like 15 ways of saying "to kill" whether by stealth, trickery,honorable, etc). All of the these lead to the conclusion that translation is necessarily flawed and the best version is up to interpretation. Personaaly I feel the best is a version which is true in meaning to the original and can stand on its own as a poem. I don't feel that keeping the original metaphors exactly the same nor even the same order is necessary so long as you are reading a well written poem that is an homage to the original.
Lastly, Gender.
In my poem gender is expressed in the terms used to describe the beloved. Using words like lithe, sweet and soft are pretty typical representations of the current female ideal. I stayed away from things like demure or firebrand since they seem more like a personal ideal at this time. I think a great deal of men idealize women who are of the same size or smaller, have relatively common looks (though physically fit) and not strongly outspoken. I know I would be wrong saying this for every guy, but at least it seems to fit the bill when it comes to what advertising companies think.
Ultimately I didn't do very much with gender in my poem, especially in comparison with some others I've seen posted, I think it could do with some more work especially the break between lines 10 and 11. If I do get a version I like more I will post it next to the original.
-Trev